6 Short Years Ago...

I can't believe that this time 6 years ago I was preparing for an event that would change my life completely, turn it upside down and inside out and make me a different person.

Tomorrow my Isabella Rose will be 6 years old and I am so sad that my 'baby' is gone but in her place I see a young girl growing and changing, driving me completely mad, but inspiring me and encouraging me to be a better person everyday for her.

This year is especially emotional because I have seen so many changes in Isabella mainly due to all she has dealt with in the last couple of months with Dan's illness having such an incredible impact on her young life. She will never be the same, and in many ways I cry for the loss of her innocence, because her world is no longer a place that only magical things happen in. Although in her beautiful, wonderful, incredibly imaginative mind it is still a truly special place.

I am so proud of who she is now and all that she may yet become. I think of all that lies ahead of her, the joy, sorrow, laughter and tears and hope I get to share in as much of it as possible.

My wish for her is to always be happy and to always know that she is loved unconditionally.

Happy Birthday my Darling Girl

xxx

Watch how she has grown...

A few moments after my precious girl arrived in this world

Her first bath

She was so tiny!

 This suit was a 00000

At 3 months of age

 In the bath tub!

1st Photo Shoot

My Christening Gown

 Cutting my Christening Cake!

 My First Christmas!

First Birthday Photo Shoot!

1st Birthday!

My Princess!

Isabella's 6th Birthday Play Date

We have just begun celebrations for Isabella's 6th birthday!

This year as Dan is going through chemotherapy we decided to do things a bit low key.

I'll admit it was a difficult decision for me because as most of you know birthdays are my 'thing'.

But, I am 'over' being disappointed.

We decided we were going to have a special day, a mummy daughter pedicure and then off to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D with 2 friends dressed up in our princess dresses, of course, followed by a sushi luncheon.

Well, the best laid plans often go astray, and so did ours...the cinema decided not to continue their run of the movie as it wasn't doing very well...so, plan B.

I very hurriedly gathered a few party props and food together to make a play date with the girls at home...amd so, here follows Isabella's 6th Birthday play date!

My pretty party girl all ready for her friends to arrive.

I found this balloon flower idea on Pinterest!

The dining room with just a little decoration.

3 good friends

 

Ready to bake cupcakes!

Kira ready to lick the spoons!

Ready to watch a movie!

 The decorated birthday cupcakes are ready! Good job girls!!

Happy Birthday Isabella!

And we're done!!

It might not have been the birthday party I was planning this year but the girls had a ball and I am pleased she got to spend it with her 2 best friends. In the end, that's all that matters isn't it?

xxx

The Prank

It's happened! My 5 almost 6 year old pranked me a beauty last night and was sooo cool about it, I am actually kind of proud of her.

Last night I came into the office to check emails (or perhaps sneak in 1 more Bejewelled Blitz game) before I went to bed only to find my PC mouse was dead frozen!!

I did all the usual problem solving, bang it, grimace, wriggle it, tell it it was a stupid bloody mouse, hit a few keys on the keyboard and then being completely peeved turned the bloody thing off!! So, yeah I'm a real tech head! I didn't dare annoy Dan and his Dad who were in Origin heaven!

Off I went to bed thinking that after a good rest the computer and mouse would of course be more cooperative in the morning.

So, this morning I get up do brekky, coffee etc. Dan leaves for work and doc appointment, Isabella is finishing her brekky and I decide to say good morning to the computer. Surely it's going to behave this morning! Hmm!

I turn it on all positive and sending happy vibes only to find the bloody mouse was still frozen!!! What the...????? Argh!! I do all the correct problem solving strategies as per last night only to find, surprise, surprise...it didn't work???

Then, and I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit this bit, only then, did I even think to turn the mouse over and look...ahhhh, what the heck is that??? A Barbie sticker is stuck over the sensor!!! Now how did that...???

I pull it off and what do you know? the mouse works!! I'm such a great problem solver!! I am so happy with myself for being so clever I don't give it another thought, just squeeze in a quick game of Bejewelled...

15 mins later Isabella is getting dressed for school when she calmly asks me with a wry smile on her face..."So, Mum have you checked your emails?" I look at her and think why would she be the slightest bit interested in me check...doh!! Um, yeah, how dumb do I feel? She then smiles and says, "Pranked you!!!" Then starts cracking up! I laughed so hard we just gave each other a big hug and we talked about how clever and sneaky she is.

On the way to school she starts telling me about how she is planning to prank her teacher and Mr Black, the principal!! Uh Oh!!

I've already warned Mr Black, to which he laughed and said "Not if I get her first!!"

Funny!!

Yes, it's true, I am in fact having birthday party planning withdrawals!

There, I admitted it!

For those who know me well, planning birthdays, well any event really is something I absolutely adore doing. I do not admit to be a professional on any level, but as a mummy who works full time, blah, blah, blah, I do my best.

I have even blogged about my planning efforts in the past to maybe inspire other mum's to give it a go, and that has worked a little! Yay!

I am a bit ridiculous and start the planning process a little ahead of time. Okay, I admit it as soon as the kids are out the door and my hands are wet from washing up from one party, I'm on the computer browsing Pinterest and other party bloggers sites looking for inspiration for the next party. Don't laugh!

I love planning for Isabella's birthday's and this year she is turning 6. I had ideas about a wild woodland fairy party, and I was brimming over with ideas about the location, the dessert table, decorations, games, costumes, food, everything!

Then we decided as a family that we were going on our dream cruise in 2012 and we would have to be a bit frugal, so, no party. But, even then I couldn't give up the party idea, so I thought we could do an intimate cupcake party at home with patty cake liner garlands draped around the house and sweet frosting and...then

Well, many of you already know what's happened recently. Dan ,my hubby, got very ill and is currently having chemo for Hodgkin's Lymphoma. (I've been blogging about that too lately if you'd like to catch up).
Whilst Dan is doing amazingly well, and our lives are kind of normal again while he continues treatment, the whole thing has dug into our finances and whilst we won't be on the streets, we have had to make a few financial decisions.

So, no birthday party and no cruise.

Now, that's all okay and we have come to terms, almost with those decisions...

This blog isn't about feeling sorry for myself or our family, quite the opposite, we are just SO happy that Dan's treatment is going so beautifully and we know he will be fine.

I however, am not sure how I will ever recover from the withdrawals of not 'doing' a party this year. (HUGE SIGH!!)

We will of course celebrate Isabella's party and there will be friends, probably a mummy/daughter pedicure and a movie with the girls and a sushi lunch. something like that will be fun and wonderful of course and quite suffices for Isabella. In fact, she is quite fine with the whole idea of no party.

No, it's poor mummy that still finds herself scrolling through my Pinterest boards of inspiration...ah well! There's always next year...hmm :)


Enjoy every day!

Kym


p.s. after my recent very serious blogs, I really needed to lighten up and let the world know that the Bozzoli's still have our sense of humour!
xxx

Can you help a dream come true?

My husband, Dan and I have had a lovely, albeit, quiet day celebrating Mother's day with Isabella. I got breakfast in bed and lots of delicious wine and a yummy platter for lunch and I'm sure a yummy barbeque dinner will follow shortly. But today we also had a serious discussion about where things were heading during Dan's cancer treatment and how we were coping financially.
It's a discussion that we had kind of put off for a bit because, well, there were more important things to discuss.
But now, it's time to sit and talk.
We've made a few important decisions, and some of them will affect us in quite different ways. We will be fine at the end of it all but I just don't feel right about one. That is, the decision that we cannot go on the dream cruise that we booked for this December for Christmas and to celebrate Dan's 40th birthday.
So, I have decided before we cancel it altogether to throw it out there, to the universe to see if people will help us to see this dream come true.
It's not an important dream in the scheme of things, but to me, well it is really important. I always wanted to have a huge birthday bash for Dan's 40th, because he is the most important person in my life, apart from Isabella. He is my rock, my love, my life! I don't know what I'd be without him.
If I can make this small dream, which is actually huge, come true, it would be a big dream for me too!
If it happens well, it would be unbelievably fantastic!!
But, if it doesn't then we will find a way ourselves to make it a special time, no matter what.
If you have been following our story and you'd like to help, then please share this page with your friends. Perhaps together, with the help of many giving just a little you can help make this familiy dream become a reality!
Please click on the following link to assist us!

http://www.gofundme.com/m4aus#description

Thank you for sharing your time to share our family story.
xxx

Kym

a long time coming

A number of events have and are occuring that have had me pondering and reflecting on many events and people in my life and how I have become the person I am today. I will be 47 this year and I suddenly realise that I am rapidly approaching that phase called 'middle age'...oh my God! It's terrifying! It's also a relief. I am finding that on a day to day basis I am beginning to have questions about so many things...I almost sound like my 5 year old wanting to know everything and I do mean EVERYTHING right now!


But I digress...as I often do...this blog is about the past...and maybe that will bring us up to speed? Much of what I am about to write is not pleasant, it's not easy to write about, remember and I can't even put some of it down into words, so I won't. This is not about asking for pity or anything actually, it's just a way for me to remember. Most of my memories are happy, joyful and full of love and laughter. Those memories will come too. But for now I need to recall how a very familiar foe entered my life and how I have been able to live on, survive and be happy again.


I need to go way back...


I consider myself a very fortunate person...


I was raised by a mother and father who loved each other and  all 3 of their children unconditionally. I always felt as though my family was proud of me, no matter what. But sometimes I wished I could be better...I don't know why.


My mum was a stay home mum, as most in the 60's were. My Dad was an electrical contractor and had his own business for over 25 years on the Gold Coast. We had everything we wanted or needed which by today's standards meant...very little. We were blissfully happy!!


We were a happy family that did everything together...footy, dancing camping, surfing and parties!


At 18 my world fell apart when my darling mum died from cancer.


She had been unwell for about 3-4 months, in and out of hospital with bouts of severe abdominal pain that nobody really had an answer for but plenty of good guesses. On one of her stays out of hospital she came to me and said she was scared because she had found a lump in her breast.
She wanted me to feel it. It was hard as a rock, small as a pea and sat right behind her nipple...I can still feel it right now. I told her not to worry, it would be okay but to go to the doctor and get it checked. I was scared too.


It was cancer, it was actually a secondary cancer that had spread from her bowel to the breast and her lymph nodes. But, nobody knew it yet. She had a full mastectomy, Christ, did they make a mess of her!
Mum was devastated, she had the most gorgeous boobs and was so proud of them! I thought she was the most beautiful, woman in the world and so did my Dad.


Then the radiotherapy started...I can't remember how long it went for I just remember I drove her to Royal Brisbane Hospital from the Gold Coast on my learner's licence many, many times. I'd sit in the waiting room and see people dealing with the dreadful scars that this hideous disease wreaks on people. I remember one day seeing for the first time a young woman who had lost at least half her face to surgery. At the time I thought to myself, I'd rather die. I'm sure she did too. I don't know what happened to her...but I also remember thinking how strong she must be to deal with this everyday.
Mum's scars were alwful too but she never complained.


There's so much I don't remember from this time probably because I didn't want to know what was happening and partly because I could hide away from it all because I was still studying at Teacher's College Mon-Fri and only come home on weekends.


My friends kept me busy and my job was to do well at college and get that teaching diploma.


Within a 6 month period I saw my very athletic, outgoing, busy, chatty, never sit down and rest mother become frail, tired and quiet.


I saw my life changing without even realising it.


I remember coming home from college one Friday night and my Dad was bringing my mum home from hospital stay number...???? too many to remember. He walked through the door virtually carrying her frail body to their room. He put her in bed and came upstairs to tell us all that she had come home to die...there was nothing else the doctors could do for her.


I just sat there...shock set in and I remember Dad mad me a cup of tea that was so sweet it nearly made me sick...he siad the sugar would help?


My life completely turned upside down in that moment and I don't think I ever recovered from that feeling.


I went through all the normal stages...denial, anger etc. but mostly I just felt numb and everything seemed so quiet and still, the whole world seemed to come to a standstill but it didn't. I'd go to do grocery shopping and people were just normal, smiling, laughing, arguing. It didn't feel, right.
Didn't they all know what was happening? My mother, Robyn, was dying!! She would be gone soon and they wouldn't be able to see her again! No one would, not even me! So, stop! Do something! Anything! But I didn't say any of those things, I just did my shopping like everyone else. No one would have even known my pain, my despair that my world was about to end. It was all so surreal.


The end for my mother was awful, like it is for so many cancer patients, pain, injections to relieve the pain, illness, deliriousness. Horror like I've never imagined...well, not at that time anyway.


When she finally passed around midnight on July 29th, 1984 the night was quiet and still. My mother died in my Dad's arms and he told me later she spoke of me in her final words, wondering if I'd be okay. No, I wouldn't be, she was gone forever and I'd never hear her laugh again. Never see her smile again. Never feel her arms around me again. Never hear her say words of comfort and love. She was gone. She was 39 and I was 18. Too young.


But we went on, I took my sister shopping for an appropriate dress for a 14 year old to wear to her mother's funeral. That in itself felt so wrong. I still see the look on the face of the sales assistant when she told Shelley how nice the dress looked and she said thanks and told her what event it was for. Those looks of pity became very familiar. Now I just abhor them. I've seen them too often. I don't mean that I'm angry at those who show them they don't know how it makes me feel.


Life changed forever after that. Dad was a mess. That's saying it nicely. My brother Brett was gone, living on the Sunshine Coast. Shelley needed me. My Grandmother was there but not for long. She moved to a unit.
Then another nightmare began, but that's a different story, and not one I am prepared to tell yet.

Robyn Faye Green